The sunsets in Syracuse are just unreal. Tonight it crept it's way through the crawling clouds. I'm really glad it did. I guess it had something to say. I've been trying lately to shut up, breathe, look, and listen. These sunsets are certainly helping my desire to revel in the present moment. 
Flipped through this book for a while when poking around a little downtown boutique. It's basically just a list of 14,000 happy thoughts - anything and everything from fresh mango salsa to stories around a campfire to sleeping in on Sunday. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in what's going wrong, and forget what is going well. I often get sad about what I don't have, instead of appreciating all that I do have. It's a process. Sometimes it's hard. If there was no struggle, there would be no progress. If we just stop for a minute I think we'll realize that life is offering us many things to be happy about.
Saturday, September 18th 
Today was a quiet day and I felt very contemplative. Outside it was crisp, refreshing. The kind of day that holds you in it's hands and slowly sways back and forth between summer and fall. Flirting with the change of seasons. I love the weather when mother nature does that.I attended a required initial training for my position that explained the history of developmental disabilities in our country, specifically New York. Fortunately, where we are now has greatly improved over the past few decades. I watched a short film about Willowbrook State School, which was in Staten Island. It made my stomach turn. To call it a ‘school’ is repulsive. It was not a place for learning, and was certainly not safe. Willowbrook was an institution for children with mental retardation from 1930-1987. I was born in 1988. There were over 5,000 people crammed into the facility, which Senator Robert Kennedy called “a snake pit” after visiting. There would often be one staff person on for 16-hour shifts, responsible for the direct care of 40 disabled children.
According to the materials I received in my training - between 1963 and 1966 healthy children were intentionally injected with the virus that causes hepatitis and then monitored to gauge the effects of gamma globulin in combating it. After lots of investigating, Willowbrook was publicly exposed on television in 1972. Geraldo Rivera exposed a ward crowded with children, mostly naked. Some were smeared with their own feces. Essentially unattended, they were everywhere, knocking their heads against walls, one even lapping water from a toilet bowl.
My new friend was raised in institutions. Once turning 18, he joined our organization and has thankfully had a place to call home for 32 years. He loves life, treats others well, and finds harmony in a simple cup of coffee. He holds my hands tightly while he completes his physical therapy exercises. His hands remind me exactly of my father’s. It’s comforting. To learn about the conditions that people with disabilities had to endure within these state institutions is so horrifying. What’s more horrifying is to let my mind picture the person who looks at me, with love-filled eyes, from across the breakfast table, to say “thank you, my friend” …it’s horrifying to envision his joyous spirit, just a child, trapped in the hell I’m imagining.
I once heard in a lecture “if you’re not outraged, then perhaps you aren’t paying attention.” Earlier this afternoon, I felt outraged. But for tonight, as the cool wind snakes in the window I take a breath of relief. Tomorrow morning shall bring a cup of coffee with a dear friend, and a new outlook on their story.
Today, my little brother is 21! It feels like the end of an era. He is the youngest, and now that he is 21- are we a family of all adults?! Maybe technically we are, or perhaps we aren't. Nonetheless, I feel old. But I think my friend and brother Nick and I will forever be young at heart. Sending him good vibes - 439 miles worth on route 81 South... Happy Birthday young Nicholas :)
The first lunch I ate in Syracuse - the tomatoes in my salad picked straight from my own backyard. This piece of bread was from a loaf my roommate Jeff created - with a pesto & cheese filling. Our garden also provided the basil leaves to make the homemade pesto. I've had the privilege of meeting some cool people here, who are dedicated to being recyclers and thinkers and natural and healthy and green and all those good things. It's fun how when you spend lots of time with people, their passions slowly become your passions too. Tonight I went to a "greening meeting" - a brainstorming of the minds to make strides towards our community living more simply. Very inspiring, very new to me, very intriguing. Education and awareness! After the gathering wrapped up, I found myself running some errands. I've really been wanting some mouthwash. So... my large carbon footprint decided to take a baby step.
August 24, 2010 
